Multi-Disciplinary Research

After the diatribe on Irish public restrooms, Paul received some interesting commentary from his esteemed colleague, Professor Paul Jentz, of the History Department at NHCC. In the subsequent discussions, the two have developed an interesting hypothesis to explain the grotesque state of these facilities, and present it here for your review.

Pseudo-Fennian Lavatorial Passive-Aggression in 21st Century Ireland
©Melchior and Jentz, 2009

Abstract: Although Ireland has been a self-governing, independent republic since the early 1920's, seven centuries of oppression by the Norman and Anglo-Saxon Empire remains deeply embedded in the Irish psyche. We propose that the generally dismal state in which public men’s bathroom facilities are kept in this otherwise beautiful nation is the result of a residual yet strongly held subconscious desire for continued retribution against former enemies. The fact that women’s rest rooms are better kept further suggests that this low-grade, passive-aggressive campaign is directed primarily at males. While several female monarchs, notably Elizabeth I, oversaw several significant periods of Irish oppression, male kings, military leaders (See Fig. 1 Oliver Cromwell), and landlords were the prevailing targets of Irish hatred. The current state of Irish men’s water closets therefore suggests the message: “Since we can’t get rid of you altogether, we’re going to make at least part of your stay miserable. But not so much for the ladies.”

This hypothesis will undoubtedly require further scholarly analysis to solve potential discrepancies. For example, why are the men’s rooms at colleges and schools that serve an almost exclusively Irish student body also banjanxed? We will keep you apprised of further research.

Song of the Day: Not coincidentally, this song by The Pogues called 'Young Ned of the Hill' betrays the festering hatred for Cromwell nearly 400 years after his death.